Sometimes, often really, I catch myself giving away to freely my heart, my mind, my energy, and my attention. It hit me this morning. I was caught off guard during my morning time with God as I read something seemingly unrelated in Psalm 78. I had prayed first, “What is one thing I could do today to make You happy?”

A walk outside came to mind- a long, observant walk with Him- but this wasn’t it. That was my own mind. So, I continued reading the Psalm, inhaling slowly and steadily, holding a breath, and finally exhaling it fully. A morning contemplation of Psalm 78.

It's long, and I mainly stayed within verses 16-33 because the word furious caught my attention. God was furious. How often I forget God's ability to feel emotion? Of course, God has emotion; we are the same way.

Imagine the scene:

Marvelous things He did in the sight of their fathers,
In the land of Egypt, in the field of Zoan.
He divided the sea and caused them to pass through;
And He made the waters stand up like a heap.
In the daytime also He led them with the cloud,
And all the night with a light of fire.
He split the rocks in the wilderness,
And gave them drink in abundance like the depths.
He also brought streams out of the rock,
And caused waters to run down like rivers. Psalm 78:12-16

Let’s say we have worked hard, gone out of our way, and made many provisions to make life more comfortable for someone else. And then they have the audacity to ask, “But can you also do this?”

“And they tested God in their heart
By asking for the food of their fancy.
Yes, they spoke against God:
They said, “Can God prepare a table in the wilderness?” Psalm 78:18-19

“Therefore the Lord heard this and was furious…” Psalm 78:21

I would also be furious. I have been furious. Because when we give flesh and blood, hearts, minds, energy, money, land, food, everything possible from the depths of our being, and it‘s cast aside like a cheap type of entertainment, it hurts my heart, and more importantly, it hurts God’s heart. Perhaps it makes Him furious.

The sad part of this story is that God gave them what they craved, which in turn caused death, destruction, and ultimately a tedious and futile way of life riddled with fear.

“So they ate and were well filled,
For He gave them their own desire.
They were not deprived of their craving;
But while their food was still in their mouths,
The wrath of God came against them,
And slew the stoutest of them,
And struck down the choice men of Israel.

In spite of this they still sinned,
And did not believe in His wondrous works.
Therefore their days He consumed in futility,
And their years in fear.” Psalm 78:29-33

When we crave, when we question God’s ability to provide and the provision itself, we may find ourselves full, but we also find the never-ending cycle of discontent. We embrace the habits of a person who holds tight to safety, familiarity, and a limited way of life. Basically, we guard the worthless things while the precious and sacred things are left dangerously uncared for.

What am I supposed to guard according to God? Wisdom. Truth. But above all? My heart.

“Above all else, guard your heart,
for everything you do flows from it.” Proverbs 4:23

This morning, I prayed after reading:

Lord, I want to be content trusting You know the desires of my heart and as long as I delight in You (seeing and experiencing You, which I love to do) You will give me the true deep and sacred desires of my heart.

If my Creator can become furious when people doubt His abilities or forget His goodness, then I am also prone to such emotion as one created in His image. The truth I need to embrace is that emotion is vital to indicate that something is wrong. God’s remedy is found in the prescription called, guarding my heart. I’m reminded of the words of Jesus,

“Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces.” Matthew 7:6

God’s answer to,

“What is one thing I could do today to make You happy?”

Guard my heart.

Because sometimes, often, I give too much away for free. I know this deeply. I also know I can hold sacred things tighter. I can remember the gifts God has already given me in the opening of pathways I never imagined being invited to walk upon. The joy the Holy Spirit spills into my soul hopefully with a smile, knowing it will be delighted in like secret manna.

Guard my heart. Guard your heart. I think I will begin learning this skill. I hope you will too.